Alhamdulillah thanks to the pleasure of Allah SWT, the prayers of family and friends, I completed my thesis defense on July 21, 2023 for the third time in my life. So, this is the story…
Idle Questions and Encouragement from Parents #
It all started when my lectures were about to enter the second semester. According to campus regulations, the process of changing academic advisors would be carried out. It is the thesis supervisor who will become the academic advisor for the students they supervise.
I officially became a student of Prof. Erma Suryani, ST., MT., Ph.D. as the final result of the announcement of thesis supervisor allocation. Alhamdulillah the brief abstract regarding my thesis research plan was approved by her.
After asking for her contact through the department administrative staff, I promptly contacted Prof. Erma. Introducing myself as her new student while also asking about academic advising and filling out the Study Plan Form (FRS).
She replied to my message without waiting long. A quite different experience compared to during my D3—Ehem. By the way, Prof. Erma immediately approved it.
My parents asked about the possibility of me completing my studies in three semesters. This made me have to hold the thesis proposal exam in this second semester.
I, who was indifferent at the time, just agreed. Especially after talking with other friends about the possible impact if I failed to hold the thesis proposal exam. They said I just wouldn’t get a grade but could take it again in the next semester. I just thought, Okay, what’s wrong with trying it. That simple.
I took the Proposal Seminar course and immediately contacted my academic advisor to finalize the FRS. Again, she just approved it like that.
From here I started to think that, oh maybe graduate students are really expected to be responsible for their own lectures.
I remembered again that students must be more independent when taking graduate studies. That’s what was explained during the initial orientation and also what other people said. That expression also accompanied my second semester lectures.
Becoming a Deadliner #
The different assignments and lecture load were increasingly felt when semester 2 started running. Plus I entered as an RPL (Recognition of Past Learning) student, requiring me to take one course from the undergraduate program.
This made me feel tired in undergoing lectures at that time. Until the thought crossed my mind that it was better to give up on the thesis proposal exam. Because the remaining time could be used for resting.
Just before the midterm exam was the heaviest moment during lectures. I finally poured out my frustration and cried in sujud (prostration). I even protested to my parents about the burden of my lectures. They couldn’t bear it and allowed me to stop studying if it was indeed too heavy.
The series of events made me increasingly lazy in preparing the thesis proposal. Seeing college friends who started diligently reading scientific articles/journals to telling their supervision experiences didn’t give me any motivation either.
Until exactly the 12th week of lectures, I completed the initial draft of the thesis proposal even though still in a half-hearted condition. Then I started contacting the supervisor to hold supervision sessions.
Both my friends, Titan and Fadlil, also commented that I was already quite late to start preparing the thesis proposal. Whatever. I’m just trying anyway. If she rejects it, then so be it, that was my thinking.
Unexpectedly, Prof. Erma instead gave suggestions and in broad terms still gave a green light to my proposal draft. She seemed to be modeling her expression, don’t be afraid, just try it first.
Days with several supervision sessions with her passed. Just before the final exam, she allowed me to proceed to the thesis proposal seminar. At this stage little by little, the expression that master’s research is mostly the student’s responsibility, started to be felt.
Finally, my proposal seminar was successfully held with the result of major revisions to the research methodology haha. What can you say, that’s the result of half-hearted work (sorry again, Prof!).
thesis proposal seminar
Becoming a Lazy Deadliner (Again) #
To make a long story short, the revision of my proposal draft was accepted by the examiners. Although accompanied by several notes for my future thesis work.
The days after submitting the proposal draft were filled with various activities. From starting to find entertainment by reading webtoons/manhwa, playing the Battle Realms game, to continuing to learn about programming.
Without realizing it, semester 4 lectures had started. This made me pass three or four weeks of semester break quickly.
Seeing me every day just wandering around without working on the thesis, my mother scolded me. But I made the excuse that I was still tired from the dense lectures in semester 2.
A series of activities like seeking entertainment, relieving fatigue/stress, calming the mind, to the bad thought that I still had “spare 1 semester”. Especially in the middle of semester 3, the frustration and fear of experiences related to “woman problems” also—Ehem. In essence, all that was an excuse so I could procrastinate and be lazy.
As a result, I again worked on the thesis half-heartedly but with full awareness that thesis research is almost entirely my responsibility.
Here I also experienced the supervisor who gave freedom to their students. Freedom in any sense, wanting to work on the thesis however, even not working on it seemed okay.
What I experienced had an impact that my work process became very slow. I felt I was doing thesis supervision only once every two weeks to a month.
When seeing an opportunity to overcome obstacles in working on the thesis, I innocently said that I had to do field research before the midterm exam. Not realizing how slow my thesis work progress was.
Right after the Eid al-Fitr holiday, I did thesis work supervision while reporting my progress so far. But a phrase came out, “seems like there will be a lot of progress to share, huh” said my supervisor with a smile.
After that, I tried again to organize my heart and intention in working on the thesis slowly. Reducing the previous full-of-excuse activities, although difficult.
Time and again I got trapped in those activities again and postponed working on the thesis when I found difficulties. Added to the ingrained memory that if you haven’t hit a dead end, don’t ask the supervisor. You have to try your own efforts first.
Activities with repeating phases like that continued. I pushed the thesis work progress as much as possible so I could hold the thesis defense this semester. Better to finish with whatever result. “Passing” is better than “graduating”, that was my thinking.
‘Because “passing” means just finishing with whatever result, while “graduating” means having good results and can be said to be worthy.’ foolish expression of my D3 class friends*
With me accelerating thesis work like crazy, my thesis research model was finished exactly two weeks before the registration deadline. Along with the last thesis supervision session with Prof. Erma.
Until the stage where the thesis book draft was finished and checked by her, there were still no comments from her at all. Whether just comments or even her approval for me to proceed to the defense if I didn’t ask directly.
This was of course very different from all my experiences that had already conducted two final defenses. Even though that was during D3 and undergraduate.
The supervisor who was very strict and gave “real world simulation” (D3), to the supervisor who was busy but still tried to share time with the students they supervised (undergraduate). Both were very different from my current supervisor. Whether that was because of her treatment or because I had already worked, so I was considered more able to be responsible compared to classmates who were mostly fresh graduates. Ah no, that was just me being ge-er (delusional).
Thesis Defense (The 3rd) #
I was lucky because I still got the opportunity to register for the thesis defense in the final week. Especially after contacting the laboratory assistant responsible for helping to arrange my thesis defense schedule.
All required files had been uploaded and now I just had to wait for the schedule to be released. But until Saturday there was still no clarity on my thesis defense schedule. Even though back at the thesis proposal, the lab released the schedule on Saturday too.
I asked the lab assistant at night. And, voila my thesis defense schedule was Monday.. at 8 am haha. What a surprise!
And, alhamdulillah once again I managed to “pass” while bringing the “System Dynamics Modeling” research topic which is also Prof. Erma’s field of expertise.
My fear of the revisions that would be given by Pak Mudjahidin as Examiner I, fortunately didn’t happen. Good, just once was enough for the major revisions he gave before haha.
Plus, I was lucky again when Bu Mahe (who had just received a professor title) didn’t give revisions on the supply chain. The second fear that didn’t happen haha. She instead gave revisions on the many typos in my draft book, in line with Prof. Erma. Well, that’s indeed the result completed with full speed hehe (sorry again, Prof!).
Regardless of all that, I am grateful to be able to pass the final seminar of the thesis defense well. Especially after reorganizing my intention and heart again slowly.
final thesis seminar
Lessons to Be Learned #
After going through an academic year with many things, I very much realize the importance of having persistence, besides motivation. Because based on references, motivation is something that arouses and directs a person. While persistence is a person’s continuous effort toward a goal.
Each person has different treatment, including with supervisors. There are supervisors who know that men will become family leaders, so they educate more strictly on male students compared to female ones. There are supervisors who don’t mind if their students are late in defending, as long as they don’t struggle and rush. There are supervisors who give freedom to their students, don’t demand student progress, to only supervising as needed as long as their students are still on-track.
Thank you to those who have stumbled here and read the writer’s heart’s outpouring hehe. May you be given health and blessed sustenance! Aamiin.
That’s all. Cheers.